Success!!!
It works!
A big thank you to everyone who helped with special thanks to swexpert, thank you Ij.
I finally managed to connect to the server using ms sql server management studio express - I think maybey just being away for the day allowed my head to clear because I could swear I had tried that login 100 times before - but it's electronic & I'm not so I guess I got it wrong.
The other bits - which may or may not be useful to other is that when I had my account reset I forgot to go back and change the ASP.NET from version 1.1 to 2.0 in the scripting section of control panel.
I can now sleep again! (specially since I just used up all my bandwidth trying to get this working) thanks again for all the help.
Tinkerer
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