Alternative nursery rhymes

[Eidolon]

Plagiarised from someone on another board...

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won 10 grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh nuts, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its Bottom
and turned its wool to nylon.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
But she didn't wear that one very often.

[Site]

Brilliant

[Rock]

LoLzzz.....

I've heard few similar ones Check these...

Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
to fetch a pail of water,
God knows what they did up there,
they came down with a daughter...

Another one

Jack and jill went up the hill,
to smoke some marajuana,
jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked jill if she wanna.
jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun,
but stupid jill,
forgot the pill,
and now they have a son

[Rock]

hehe few more....

Baa Baa black sheep,
Have you any shame?
No sir, no sir,
it’s part of the game.
One for the minister,
one for his valet,
one for the office boy,
it’s bribes all the way...


Mary had a little sheep
With whom she went to sleep.
But the sheep turned out to be a Ram
And Mary had a little lamb...

[DPS Computing]

hehe, very good!

[Site]

Heres another...

Mary had a little lamb,
Here father shot it dead,
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two bits of bread.

[DPS Computing]

Originally Posted by Site

Heres another...

Mary had a little lamb,
Here father shot it dead,
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two bits of bread.

That is so mean lol!! That is the kind of rhyme that could shatter childhoods .

[Ben]

Originally Posted by DPS Computing

That is so mean lol!! That is the kind of rhyme that could shatter childhoods .

Lmao... some of those rhtymes are really good .

[DPS Computing]

Originally Posted by Ben

Lmao... some of those rhtymes are really good .

Yes, some of them are true genius!

[Rock]

There are few more though, but it'd not be good enough to get them posted here

[DPS Computing]

Originally Posted by Rock

There are few more though, but it'd not be good enough to get them posted here

Would they need an R18 tag?