Bill Gates in Hell

[flesso]

Here's something funny I found on WHT...

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."

Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?"

Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell.

When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven."

Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity.

Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons.

"So, how is everything going?" God asked.

Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women?

"That was the demo," replied God.

[Ben]

LOL. Wait until the Senior Windows staff read this .

[sb123]

Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.

He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the &&&& hasn't!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows XP!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys, and the switch too"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

[sb123]

The real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd.)

By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following:

B 66

I 73

L 76

L 76

G 71

A 65

T 84

E 69

S 83

+ 3

-----

666!!



Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement???

Before you decide, consider the following:

M S - D O S 6 . 2 1

77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666

W I N D O W S 9 5

87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666

Coincidence? You decide...

===================
P.S.: 1988 in the title?? I left Pharmaceuticals and joined Computers that year -- In the first, it was "Medicine better than bugs", in the next "medicine (cure) worse than bugs (virus)"!! ...

And yes, I can say I have seen the entire good work(??) of Mr. Gates -- I have worked on DOS (PC & MS versions) before the advent of Windows, then on Windows 2.x, 3.x, 95 ... 98 SE, NT, 2000, ME, XP ... -- (I must also have set the world record for number of times pulling my hair in sheer despair and disgust) -- along with CPM, UNIX ... somehow managed to survive to see this day!

[Rock]

LoL... Nice find sb123 I just can't comment on the coincidences I hope Bill Gates is aware of them too

[eUK-Martin]

Well.. I think he has been a legend and have lived to the 100% of his life.. comments after death..?? no one knows where one stands as one will have to die to comment on it.

If it was all lie that he has said about the products from Microsift then he was still the best ever as no one would manage to fool about 60% of world's population who use computers and that too for over 18 years... and still going on.

I have respect for everyone who has brought revolution.. and I will continue to do so..

This thread did bring a smile on my face but it didn't last too long..

[jc8654]

Originally Posted by eUK-Martin

I have respect for everyone who has brought revolution.. and I will continue to do so..

Well in that case, we should all love Physicist as they brought you the internet! And now, you can all worship me as I am a physicist! Lol.

[DPS Computing]

I was hoping this was true and there was a link to a BBC article as a source. But pigs don't fly so....

[Bank$]

lol there some good ones there

[paul]

Lol, Both story are nice!
I found this quote: In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?

[domainzaar]

LOL thats a good one like that

[DPS Computing]

Originally Posted by domainzaar

LOL thats a good one like that

I'm definitely convinced by now that you are indeed trying to swindle a free domain without doing it the correct way!

[WelshTom]

Originally Posted by DPS Computing

I'm definitely convinced by now that you are indeed trying to swindle a free domain without doing it the correct way!

Na, he was advertising his own domain website hosting I've banned him for good now.

[Site]

Mabe remove his posts also ?

[WelshTom]

Originally Posted by Site

Mabe remove his posts also ?

The other four posts were not advertising - so I'll leave them there for the time being

[DPS Computing]

Originally Posted by WelshTom

Na, he was advertising his own domain website hosting I've banned him for good now.

Ah right, just as bad though - and bet he wouldn't have turned down the free domain!

Originally Posted by Site

Mabe remove his posts also ?

Originally Posted by WelshTom

The other four posts were not advertising - so I'll leave them there for the time being

Yes, I agree that they should be left. Not only is it vaguely amusing for us regulars to read but it also serves as a warning to other people who are thinking of coming on the forums to do such activities that it is not acceptable and won't be tolerated so it may well put off other people following in his footsteps which would mean reduced workload for every staff member and moderator on the forum as well as make it more plesent for forum users not to have to read the crap!